Is she interested in me … or marriage?


Letters to [email protected] Have a superb weekend.


I’m a 30-year-old man and I began seeing a girl in early March. We get alongside nice, so I undoubtedly assume there could possibly be long-term potential. We reside shut by and, because the lockdown, have been seeing one another almost each night time after working from residence. This has induced our relationship to maneuver rapidly, method quicker than those I’ve had up to now. For instance, we have now already had Zoom hangouts to fulfill every of our mother and father. This is why I’m writing.

Because issues have progressed so rapidly, I’m beginning to surprise if she is in a rush to get married and begin a household earlier than actually evaluating if I’m greatest for her. For instance, she lately advised me (half-jokingly) that when she turned 28 final yr and moved to Boston for a brand new job, she was “on a mission” to discover a husband. She reveals me her associates’ Facebook posts of their infants and talks as if she is “so far behind,” as if having youngsters is a race. It feels like her previous boyfriends weren’t suitable in any respect, but the relationships lasted method too lengthy as a result of she fought to make them work as a substitute of shifting on.

I really feel that since I meet the minimal necessities round profession, faith, attractiveness, and so on., she has already made up her thoughts about our future. I believe she’s nice, however we undoubtedly nonetheless have extra work to do earlier than committing to a life collectively. How can I inform if she is in search of a husband or if she actually needs ME?

– Rushing

This is a kind of moments in Love Letters the place I want the letter author would simply present what they’ve written to the particular person they’re writing about. You’re clearly into this lady. You’ve loved her firm, and never simply because quarantine left you no different choices. You’ve agreed to nightly visits and assembly the household. You like her loads.

Your solely concern is that she is not paying consideration. You do not wish to really feel such as you’re the particular person she occurred to fulfill when she wanted to wanted to discover a husband. You ought to inform her all of this. She ought to know that in case you appear hesitant about her objectives, it is not since you do not share them, it is that you just wish to really feel like greater than a puzzle piece.

If you received’t present her this letter, please discuss to her about how a few of these feedback have made you are feeling. Let her know you are very fascinated about attending to know her – together with the non-pandemic model of her. You would by no means wish to skip previous all of those fantastic moments within the current. Then ask her if she’s additionally listening to the now.

It’s doable she drops these feedback to see in the event that they make you run out the door. Maybe she needs to check your seriousness – to search out out whether or not you are solely all-in since you’re caught in the home. Maybe she’s merely voicing this internal monologue with out contemplating her viewers. That’s my guess. She’d be higher off having a few of these conversations with associates.

– Meredith

Readers? How can the letter author carry up these issues?